The InfoStride Forum

Marriage in Africa is bedevilled with so many problems that have not only continued to threaten it as an institution but also, led to her breaking down irretrivably or strained and headed for the rocks.

Among the problems are these five which are considered as most vicious and common killers of marriage:

Parental Influence and Control
Most parents have refused or rather don't seem to understand that having married, their children cease to be under their control and somewhat overbearing influence. As a result, they still want to dictate and live the life of their married children for them, like telling them how they have lived with their own mother or father and expecting them to emulate them. This often lead to either the man/woman saying:'in my house or place, we don't do like this or that'. This is the begining of crisis.

Invitation/Submission to Third Party
Some couple make the mistake of inviting and submitting to a third party when there is problem in their home. The truth of the matter is nobody knows or understands the problem at hand more than the people involved. Bringing in a third to resolve dispute more often than, not only aggravate the problem than solve it. The problem can actually be settled if the parties look inwards and tolerate each other.

Unguided Utterances
One of the issues that contibutes to marital problems is unguided utterances from either the couple themselves or their family members. Some families owing to the fact that there are inequality in the society and some being more advantaged than the others, the privileged ones often look down on the less privileged. This is sometimes extended to marriages. Couples carry their family pride to their marriages to the detriment of the union.

Unnecessary Comparison
There is no reason or basis for comparison in marriage. Mr A or B are living in high brow areas or that they just bought the most expensive car or moved into a new apartment, should not be a ground for you to breath down the neck of your hubby. Also, that Mr C is always taking his wife to the market or helping her out with chores, don't mean that your husband must do same. Learn to take life in your strides.

Unhealthy Association
This is an information age and there is no doubt about this. However, information if not well managed could be disastrous. The agitation for gender equality is a problem. God never created male and female as equals. One is meant to love and lord over the other, while the other is to respect and obey. Unfortunately, it is not so any more. Different opinion group, advocacy group, agitation group, etc all play a role in the make or mar of marriages. Couples should be careful of indoctrination and be able to draw the necessary line needed to make their marriage work.