Can I Trust Him ?

[sofamous70]

Trust is a key element in having a strong and lasting relationship with your boyfriend. Without trust, your relationship will slowly fall apart, as Frank Crane once made clear when he said that while"you may be deceived if you trust too much, [...] you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."

1. Acknowledge why you don't trust your boyfriend. There can be a number of reasons, from not hearing from him, lack of contact, or something someone else said. Your own instinct tends to add its overlay of worry too, adding up things that may or may not be important. Some of the reasons why your trust may be tested include:

a.You have been privy to a recent revelation about him that casts suspicionson his trustworthiness

b.You have had an argument with him and it not only left you feeling sour but left many questions unanswered

c.You feel that he has betrayed your trust in him by something that he has done, said, or openly acknowledged to you

d.You feel that he is slipping away - he calls you less, he's not coming around to see you much, or he seems to be seeing other people without asking you along too

2.Talk to him about why you don't trust him. Use tact, but be honest with him. Guys prefer blatant honesty to constantly avoiding, embellishing, or twisting the subject. If you talk to him about it, not only will it make you feel better, but his trust in you will be likely t increase because he'll feel that, even though you don't trust him, you had to courage to come out and talk to him about it anyway. Whatever his response, your courage in speaking so clearly makes you a very good and honest person.

3. Go the extra mile to increase his trust in you. Be honest, caring, understanding, and trustworthy yourself, before asking someone to do the same. Don't gossip about him and don't be condescending or negative about him to other people; it will get back to him and will only make things harder for you to fix. Open up a little more yourself; this is especially important if you've been keeping your concerns and most intimate self from him.

4. Hold yourself to the same standard before unleashing your anger. Have you always remembered absolutely everything? Do you always listen with absolute clarity? Do you like it when someone suggests that you're not to be trusted? It is important to be compassionate in a relationship and that includes placing yourself into the situation he's in before you approach it. At all times, remain calm and level-headed; shouting and berating any person does nothing to change the situation and can simply deepen the problems.

5. Learn the art of small talk. Sometimes telling each other "I love you, I love you, I love you, coochy coo" becomes a little too demanding and one-way. And too many deep and meaningfuls can make each of you resent hanging around each other for fear of when the "next big crisis" is about to crop up. Brighten up your time together by indulging in small talk as a way of filling in the moments where you're just spending time together in each other's company, without expecting anything of one another.

6. Take it slowly and calm yourself down. Paranoia over the fact that you don't trust him will can cause you to deepen your mistrust rather than to want to seek some valid answers. Whatever has happened to set off your suspicions, it's more than likely that you don't have the full story or perhaps you're not even seeing all the relevant events properly. Before you discard all trust, it is important to do some thinking, questioning, and following up, to get the story straight. Focus on what is at stake and the importance of the relationship, no matter how hard it may seem and no matter how tempting it is to prefer assuming a negative viewpoint of him.

D-law

[sofamous70]

[emezico]

Yes, trust is a key element in having a strong and lasting relationship!

[sofamous70]

yes trust is a basic factor in every relationship,but come to think of it emmy,do you actually think that trust in every relationship is 100%,maybe not....just a thought..

[sofamous70]