How to forgive a cheating spouse !

Started by sofamous70, Oct 02, 2011, 10:53 AM

sofamous70

Cheating Spouses or significant others are difficult to forgive. While you're feeling bitter, angry, depressed and all of those negative emotions, you still have the love that you had for your spouse in the beginning. You begin to blame yourself and wonder what it is you did wrong.

1. The problem is not you: You didn't do anything wrong to make your spouse cheat. Forgive yourself, because there was no reason for you to be angry with yourself to begin with. 


2. Talk about it: Actually talk, do not yell or argue. Wait until you have calmed down and are able to have an actual conversation about it and find out how things led to this. Remember to keep a cool head and that the moment you start getting angry or raising your voice, your partner will become defensive and unresponsive. If you need to, you may stop at any point in the conversation and politely walk away to re-calm yourself.

3. Find a Solution: Find out if your spouse is done with your current relationship (See step 5) or if this was just a phase of rebellion (See step 4). No matter their decision, remember you cannot change their mind for them. This is something they've been thinking about for a while now.

4. If you decide to stay together: Make sure that the two of you work through this situation and talk openly and honestly about it until you feel secure and able to give everything you've got into this relationship still. DO NOT hold a grudge and hold this over their head to bring up at any argument at any point in time. Recognize your spouse made a large mistake but holding a grudge will only make you unable to move forward in your relationship. Trust will not come back right away and it will be difficult, but you need to give it time and honest effort in order to make this work.

5. If you decide to break up: At this point, no longer being bitter and forgiving your ex-spouse is for your own well-being. By holding a grudge, not forgiving either yourself or your spouse, you will be only living your life negatively and with regret. You don't have to fully forgive your spouse, but do so enough that you are able to move on and you do not cringe and somebody saying their name.

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emezico

l believe in forgiving a cheating spouse. However, the scars are still always there during the relationship. Mostimes, it leaves doubt and mistrust on the part of a cheated spouse.

sofamous70

yes are right,cheating kill the flame in the relationship,the love level depreciate and sometimes after even you have forgiven the person,you still have this feeling they might do it again or even doing it.....:)

sofamous70