Hilarious Joke - Dumb Blonde

Started by joker, Jun 25, 2014, 01:32 PM

BBC

Nigeria says it is still holding talking with Boko Haram, two weeks after the government said it had agreed a truce with the Islamist militant group.
Source: BBC


FIFA

United States coach Jurgen Klinsmann was encouraged by the performance of his players despite their 2-1 friendly defeat to Colombia on Friday.


@FIFA.com News

Reuters

KANO, Nigeria (Reuters) - Gunmen set off three bombs and opened fire on worshippers at the central mosque in north Nigeria's biggest city Kano, killing at least 35 people on Friday, witnesses and police said, in an attack that bore the hallmarks of Islamist Boko Haram militants.

"These people have bombed the mosque. I am face to face with people screaming," said Chijjani Usman, a local reporter who had gone to the mosque in the old city to pray.The mosque is next to the palace of the emir of Kano, the second highest Islamic authority in Africa's most populous country, although the emir himself, former central bank governor Lamido Sanusi, was not present.No one immediately claimed responsibility but suspicion fell on Boko Haram, a Sunni jihadist movement fighting to revive a medieval Islamic caliphate in the region.Boko Haram regards the traditional Islamic religious authorities in Nigeria with disdain, considering them a corrupt, self-serving elite that is too close to the secular government.The insurgents have killed thousands in gun and bomb attacks on churches, schools, police stations, military bases, government buildings and mosques that do not share their radical Islamist ideology.At least 35 people died on Friday, deputy police commissioner Sanusi N. Lemo told reporters in Kano. "Three bombs were planted in the courtyard to the mosque and they went off simultaneously," a security source who declined to be named said. "After multiple explosions, they also opened fire. I cannot tell you the casualties because we all ran away," added a member of staff at the palace.Angry youths blocked the mosque's gates to police, who had to disperse them with tear gas to gain entry.A MILLION DISPLACEDThe insurgency has forced more than one million people to flee during its campaign focused on Nigeria's northeast, the Red Cross told reporters on Friday, an increase on a September U.N. refugee agency estimate of 700,000.  Islamic leaders sometimes shy away from direct criticism of Boko Haram for fear of reprisals. But Kano's emir Sanusi, angered by atrocities such as the kidnapping of 200 schoolgirls from the village of Chibok in April, has been increasingly vocal.He was quoted in the local press as calling on Nigerians this month to defend themselves against Boko Haram. During a broadcast recitation of the Koran he was reported to have said:"These people, when they attack towns, they kill boys and enslave girls. People must stand resolute ... They should acquire what they can to defend themselves. People must not wait for soldiers to protect them."Persistent insecurity is dogging President Goodluck Jonathan's campaign for re-election to a second term in February 2015. (Additional reporting by Julia Payne, Isaac Abrak and Abraham Terngu in Abuja; Writing by Tim Cocks; Editing by Andrew Heavens)
Source: Reuters.com

Jobrib

Job Title: IT Director

Company: First Point Group

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: ICT

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First Point Group – My client is a market-leading telecoms company who are currently seeking an IT Director to be based in their regional HQ in Lagos, Nigeria.

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Candidates will be required to; – Develop and implement an ICT strategy t – Supervise ERP implementation – Data Centre design for Network Operation Centre (NOC) – Oversee the development and delivery of ICT products and services – Managing all ICT software, hardware and processes for all ICT needs  – Manage and advice management about data storage – CAPEX and OPEX budgets – Manage the ICT team(s) – Set up clear ICT policies.

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Desired Skills and Experience: – Good supervisory skills – Dependable and trustworthy – Analytical mind – Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Visio, MS Project etc) – Oracle Database – Knowledge of Operations.

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Reuters

YAOUNDE (Reuters) - Lawmakers in Cameroon, which is battling to stop the advance of Nigerian Boko Haram militants on its territory, will vote in the coming days on whether to impose the death penalty on those found guilty of involvement in acts of terrorism.

Opposition figures accused the government of seeking to use the proposed law, which they say is too broad in scope, to criminalize opposition to President Paul Biya's 32-year rule.Boko Haram fighters have made repeated incursions into the rugged Far North region of Cameroon in recent months. They have clashed with Cameroonian soldiers sent to the border to stop them and are blamed for dozens of deaths and kidnappings there.Cameroonian officials also fear the Islamist group is targeting young men in the impoverished north for recruitment. "The draft law provides the ultimate penalty, the death penalty, for anyone who personally, in complicity or under coercion commits a terrorist act," Parliament Speaker Cavaye Yeguie Djibril said.    Though Cameroon has not carried out an execution since 1997, according to Amnesty International, the bill received loud applause from some members of parliament when it was introduced on Tuesday. But some in the opposition see it as an attempt by the president to tighten his grip on power."This text seems obviously to be his response to the popular uprisings that have led to the fall of regimes in several African countries and in particular Burkina Faso," said Maurice Kamto, a former deputy justice minister turned opposition figure.Hundreds of thousands of protesters poured into the streets in Burkina Faso in October, forcing President Blaise Compaore to step down and flee the country after 27 years in power. Cameroon has reinforced its military presence on its northeastern border as part of regional efforts to combat Boko Haram. This week it announced it had trained a special commando unit of around 850 soldiers to fight the militants. Cameroon also faces growing insecurity along its eastern border with Central African Republic. (Additional reporting by Bate Felix; Writing by Joe Bavier; Editing by Angus MacSwan)
Source: Reuters.com

Jobrib

Job Title: Marketing/Sales Officer Housing & Estate

Company: America Chinese Yafeng West Africa Ltd

Location: Nigeria

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Job Field: Real Estate

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A multinational company; America Chinese Yafeng West Africa Ltd (AC Yafeng West Africa Ltd), entering the Nigerian market, is seeking to employ energetic and vibrant young professionals to fill the following positions.

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Qualification: – B.Sc in marketing with minimum of 3 years experience.

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Reuters

NIAMEY/N'DJAMENA (Reuters) - About 15 soldiers from Chad and Niger died in fighting to take control of two towns in northern Nigeria from Boko Haram, the first gains against the militants in a joint offensive launched at the weekend, military sources said on Monday.

About 30 Nigerien and Chadian soldiers were wounded in the clashes over Malam Fatouri and Damasak, a day after thousands of troops crossed the border to seize areas held by the Sunni Islamist group, whose insurgency has forced Nigeria to delay an election and neighbors to mobilize their armies.A Chadian officer, who asked not to be named, said about 10 Chadian soldiers were killed and 20 wounded in fighting for the towns. Two sources with Niger's military told Reuters five of its soldiers were killed in the clashes. There was no official comment from the armies of either Chad or Niger."We have kicked the enemy out of these areas and they are now under our control," a Niger military officer said.The advancing troops had seized large quantities of arms and ammunition as well as vehicles, he said, and were undertaking a clean-up operation in the area. "The troops have taken dozens of Boko Haram elements prisoner," he added.Damasak, the town furthest into Nigeria, is 10 km (6 miles) south of the Niger border, where Nigerien and Chadian troops had been massing in recent weeks before the offensive.A medical source in Diffa, the capital of the Niger region which borders Boko Haram's heartland in northeastern Nigeria, said 30 wounded soldiers had been admitted to the town's hospital. A second Niger military source said about 300 Boko Haram militants had been killed. There was no official confirmation of the toll and it was not possible to verify the figure."We had permission from Nigeria for this action," the source said. There was no immediate comment from Nigeria, which has launched its own offensive against the militants. Their gains forced Nigeria to delay elections that were due in February.Boko Haram's six-year insurgency, which aims to carve out a caliphate in Nigeria's northeast, has killed thousands. The group has pledged allegiance to Islamic State, which rules a self-declared caliphate in parts of Iraq and Syria, according to an audio clip posted online on Saturday.Cameroon, Chad, Niger and Benin have mobilized forces this year to help Nigeria defeat the group after it seized large amounts of territory and staged cross-border attacks.Nigeria and its neighbors have been working to pull together plans and rules of engagement for a regional force of 8,700 troops but cooperation between the region's armies has been strained at times.      (Reporting by Abdoulaye Massalaki; Writing by David Lewis and Joe Bavier; Editing by Giles Elgood and David Stamp)
Source: Reuters.com

Jobrib

Location:

Description:

Job Title: Monitoring and Evaluation Specialist - Data Quality Company: The Abidjan-Lagos Corridor Organization (ALCO) via Deloitte Job Type: Full Time Location: Nigeria Qualification: BA/BSc/HND Experience: 2 years Job Field:  Medical / Health / Safety NGO/Non-Profit   . Deloitte - The Abidjan-Lagos Corridor Organization (ALCO) is sub regional intergovernmental organization which was established in 2002 with the mission of reducing HIV impact on interregional trade in West Africa. Within the framework of the New Funding Mechanism, the Global Fund (GF)grant allocated to ALCO took new directions. This grant focuses on a gradual transition of HIV prevention services to national programs and a reposition of interventions toward strengthening community system as well as the defense of human rights. The grant covers the period from 2016 to 2018. . Background and Justification: - The Abidjan-Lagos Corridor Organization (ALCO) is sub regional intergovernmental organization which was established in 2002 with the mission of reducing HIV impact on interregional trade in West Africa. In fact, in view of the increase of migrations on main roads and fostering economic growth, the Heads of States of member countries namely the Ivory Coast, Ghana, Togo, Benin and Nigeria put in place this organization to facilitate road transit and transport as well as the development and implementation of a sub regional HIV/AIDS response. - During its first ten (10) years of service provision, ALCO largely contributed to the improvement of border posts environment and hospital infrastructures from Abidjan to Lagos, STIS and AIDS treatment, as well as the reduction of travelers' transit time. - Within the framework of the New Funding Mechanism, the Global Fund (GF)grant allocated to ALCO took new directions. This grant focuses on a gradual transition of HIV prevention services to national programs and a reposition of interventions toward strengthening community system as well as the defense of human rights. The grant covers the period from 2016 to 2018. - Aware of the challenges in the framework of the implementation of this grant, ALCO undertook actions in order to efficiently manage the resources which will be made available in the framework of this funding. To this effect, ALCO is recruiting an Monitoring and Evaluation Specialist in Charge of Data Quality who will be based at ALCO's headquarters in Cotonou/Benin. . Description of Duties: Under the supervision of the Monitoring and Evaluation Officer, the incumbent carries out the following duties: - Coordinate the project data collection in accordance with the monitoring and evaluation plan; - Design tools for data collection, analysis and dissemination; - Together with the computer team design on DIHS 2 the database and the project road map in view of managing the project data and information and ensuring the monitoring of information flow; - Administer the project database and ensure it is constantly updated; - Ensure the training of ME and Sub recipients in the use of the database; - Ensure complete and timely reporting through the implementation of an efficient data management system from the provision of data collection tools to reporting; - Ensure data analysis from health centers, NGOS; - Ensure data quality through the establishment of a Quality Assurance system for the project data; Reports the problems that monitoring data will have highlighted and propose solutions; - Provide technical support to health centers, NGOS and the Monitoring and Evaluation team from ALCO's partners in terms of data collection and analysis, evaluation and data use among health care providers in view of improving the quality of services delivered; - Put in place a system for annual collection of HIV impact data from member countries of the Abidjan Lagos Corridor and the Abidjan Lagos Corridor; - Put in place a database to gauge the impact of HIV within the countries of the Abidjan Lagos Corridor and the Abidjan Lagos Corridor; - Put in place a mechanism for archiving activities, study and mission reports as well as project data; - Strengthen the capacity of SR in archiving data and documents; - Put in place a network of data managers on OCAL sites in view of improving the quality of data generated and their analysis; - Oversee the monthly data collection from the project implementation sites; - Check the consistency of monitoring and evaluation indicators as defined for each activity of the Project; - Produce on quarterly basis the project indicator performance tracking table for each country; - Develop monthly and quarterly written reports per deadlines; - Strengthen the capacity of sub-recipients as well as district and regional managers; - Ensure data collection tools are available on implementation sites; - Develop procedures and manuals for data quality assurance; - Participate in data collection in the framework of studies and survey at ALCO level; - Oversee the development and implementation of data quality control system, data quality assurance for the program activities and the Audit of Data Quality; - Provide support for ALCO research projects; - Establish and maintain good working relations with important State officials, partners and NGOS; - Put in place a network of data managers on ALCO sites in view of improving the quality of data generated and their analysis; - Conduct any other duties in relation with the position; . Required Profile and Competence: - Candidates must have a qualification in Statistics, Project Management, and Demography or hold a university degree in Planning, Social Sciences or public health; - Must have proven experience in a similar post; - Must have at least two years of experience with the procedures of Global Fund, including drafting quarterly reports, developing budgeted action plans,the preparation of LFA quarterly control missions; - Must have good knowledge of the health system within ALCO member countries and sufficient knowledge of health information system management; - Must have very good knowledge of statistical and econometric software (Epilnfo and SPSS, STATA, ACCESS database management system, Excel spreadsheet and data management,word processing, Power Point. Internet. Outlook ...). - Be fluent in French and /or of English.

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Jobrib

Job Title: Social Media Executive

Company: MyFoodWareHouse

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND  

Experience: 1 year

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: ICT / Computer   Media / Advertising / Branding  

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MyFoodWareHouse delivers the highest quality food from farm to table that way, active lives, saving time for what really matters. We know that finding a variety of groceries can be a big challenge. it's inconvenient to shop at different stores for different items (shopping in the open market for your different items or going to the shopping mall only to find few of the items you need). Solving for this challenge was the idea behind MyFoodWareHouse.

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We use our direct relationships with farmers and artisans to drive superior quality in sourcing, then use technology to make it easier to shop and deliver those fresh products to customers' doors. It's faster, it's fresher: It's grocery shopping perfected.

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Job Description: – The role is responsible for promoting the company's brand, products and services via social media networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn and Reddit, amongst others. – He/she shall also be responsible for writing and editing content.

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Duties & Responsibilities: – Manage advertising on social media networks; Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, etc. – Generate content for social & mobile marketing platforms – Send timely reports on advertising budget achievements as well as mobile traffic/revenue growth – Manage mobile marketing partners to ensure timely delivery of services (Facebook PMDs, Ad Dynamo, ROUTESMS, etc). – Development & execution of quarterly mobile marketing plan, including demand sales targets and tactics to achieve them – Reviewing and approving mobile channel content, before releasing, to ensure quality imagery, copy content, and brand true presentation – Develop new mobile marketing programs that increase brand awareness, increase text messaging sign-ups and drive sales – Regularly increase our GSM mobile database and mobile traffic – Identify and test new reach and engagement mechanisms to inform future mobile marketing strategy. – Test into new channels with the goal of diversifying the channel mix and identifying new sources of acquisition and engagement levers that scale. – Carry out other responsibilities as may be assigned by the Head, Marketing

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Qualifications & Experience: – Bachelor's degree in any reputable University. – Minimum of 1 years relevant work experience.

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Skills & Competencies: – Social Media savvy – Training in data interpretation & data-driven marketing. – Creative and result oriented

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Jobrib

Job Title: Hotel Accountant

Company: Smart Partners Consulting Limited

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Experience: 3 years

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: Finance / Accounting / Audit

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Smart Partners Consulting Limited – Our client in

hospitality business urgently need the service of a

Professional Accountant to manage and develop

sound accounting process for its business.

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Job Requirements: – Preferred candidate must; – Must posses a good first degree in Accounting. ACA

would be added advantage – Minimum of 3 years experience in HOTEL

accounting role – Good knowledge of Costing and estimation in food

and beverages. – Ability to use, PEACHTREE/QUICKBOOK – Good knowledge of MS Office – Ability to do budgeting and presentation of

accounting books and reports

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Jobrib