So many of our relationships are built on compromise. And a successful romantic relationship is built on the understanding that both parties are getting enough from the relationship to make any compromises worthwhile.
As an example, I'd like to share a story about a lovely couple I know. I introduced Sarah to Shane and they spoke on the phone several times before they met. Their chats usually lasted for a couple of hours and they found they shared a mutual passion for golf. When Shane invited Sarah to play golf with him, she was thrilled and really looked forward to it.
But when Shane came to pick her up, he didn't look exactly how she had imagined. Although he was attractive, he was a bit shorter than the men she usually liked to date. As the game of golf progressed, his laugh really began to bother her, something she hadn't noticed during their phone calls. And he offered advice on which club she should use for a particular shot, which really ticked her off.
By the time the game ended, Sarah was so annoyed at Will that she asked him to take her home. She told him that things just wouldn't work out.
Focusing on the positive
The next day, I spoke to Sarah and asked her to think about what compromises she would be willing to make to find someone who may not be perfect, but is perfect for her. Not that I want Sarah to lower her standards – she deserves to be with someone wonderful. But she definitely should have given Shane another chance.
If they had spent a bit more time together, Sarah could probably have overlooked the minor things that bothered her about Shane and embraced the wonderful things about him. I think that Sarah should have focused on the many positive aspects of their fledgling relationship, for example:
• they obviously enjoyed chatting to each other for hours on the phone
• Sarah found Shane attractive
•he put some thought into their first date and picked something she would enjoy
• he was attentive to her throughout the game.
On subsequent dates, she could have found out more about him. She may have discovered that he was interesting, funny, open-minded, kind and respectful. That he was looking for a long-term, committed relationship. And that he whole-heartedly believed that men should help with the housework. Because when you get right down to it, these are the sort of profound characteristics that you should be looking for in someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Like Sarah, are you willing to be flexible on some of your conditions and forgive some minor imperfections? Because none of us are perfect.
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In my view, there no such thing as perfect relationship. Every good and working relationship bothers on understanding and compromise, from both partners.
yes ...there is non who is perfect,compromise is the key to a lasting relationship..:)