Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and, OH, MY GOD ! Silence followed! Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants! One Irish passenger yelled, bye jezis you should see the back of mine!