Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Boniface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with great pleasure; I announce that since starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Al Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can't find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ...and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
Enjoy Nigeria Airways
This joke couldn't be made of Nigeria Airways of present but of the 70s, but may be 'Dana' Air
Bonifaze is captain.they are all living dead niyen o.you guys cannot look at their faces before boarding.you are in the wrong plane.
God will not allow me to enter this kind of airplane.All the disadvantages of airplanes are listed here.
you people wil nt kill person in this website o. i cannot stop laughing after reading this.nice one this saturday evenin
God save us, its nt joke matter, we al ar in dilema if our airways continue this way.
This airways is a suicide mission o.i'm very sure they will fall off of this one.it is not conducive at all so it should not be recommended.
This is called Boko haram airline
This airline na die Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡! Am in support of you jare....Bokoharam Airline