Top 10 Things to do at the Mall
10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottleof Eau de Swanke.
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of pants back to the changingroom attendant and scornfully announce thatnone of them are "leak proof".
3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask thesalesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."
LMAOLMFAOLWKMD4H!!! THIS IS SO FUNNY.YOU JUST MADE MY DAY