NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report (http://tinyurl.com/ipso)) – The editors of Time ignited a firestorm of controversy today by being the first people ever to call Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg a person.
The decision to call the robot-like Internet titan a person raised eyebrows from Silicon Valley to Wall Street, forcing Time spokesperson Carol Foyler to acknowledge, "This wasn't an easy call."
Just hours after Time published its issue designating Zuckerberg a person, a protest group of over ten thousand people who had been screwed over by Mr. Zuckerberg marched on the magazine's Manhattan offices, led by twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, made famous in the movie "The Social Network."
"If Mark Zuckerberg is a person, then we're the Jonas Brothers," said the Winklevi.
Elsewhere, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange said he wasn't surprised that filmmaker Michael Moore posted bail for him: "I recognized his Mastercard number."
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In Controversial Decision, Time Magazine Calls Mark Zuckerberg a Person (http://www.borowitzreport.com/2010/12/15/in-controversial-decision-time-magazine-calls-mark-zuckerberg-a-person/)