As a child, I sold newspapers every morning before going to school –Obanikoro

[SunNews]

By OMONIYI SALAUDEEN

Senator Musiliu Obanikoro, Nigeria's former High Commissioner to Ghana and chieftain of the Peoples Democratic Party is one of the few politicians who don't put a spin on their childhood excesses before they got straightened out.  As he readily reveals, his mother was not opportune to acquire western education, but she made sure that her children got well educated and rescued from destructive tendencies that ruined many of his age-mates. In this interview, he talks about the loving upbringing he got and which has been reproduced in his own children with the deep commitment of his wife.

Excerpts...

How humble was your beginning?

I am from a very prominent family – the Obanikoro family of Lagos. But in my immediate family, we were not fortunate enough in terms of material things. However, in terms of discipline, honesty and religious belief, we were loaded. We were very rich in those areas because our parents made us to realise the importance of education. It is the totality of those values that made us what we are today. We lost our dad very early in life; so, my mum who was then a roadside pepper seller became the breadwinner. In those days, it wasn't a common thing for mothers to work. Though she didn't have opportunity to get western education, she is a strong believer in education. If I look back at those who grew up with us then, I can hardly see anyone of them anymore. Some are late because of their tough style of life that we embraced at that time. It got so bad that anytime there was noise in the neighborhood, my mum would rush out to look for me. It was that bad. She always thought I was behind any crisis or bad situation in the neighbourhood. But I grew out of that.

I used to hawk benches. When I was in secondary school, I would buy newspapers early in the morning to sell before going home to get myself ready for school. When I come back in the afternoon, I would go and sell benches. I was living with my uncle who was a carpenter. My parents didn't know. When I told my parents, they said I was lying against him. But I did that to support him.

And what was your turning point?

The turning point was when I gained admission into Ahmadiyah College, Agege. Despite the fact that there were so many tough boys in the school, they were very serious with their education. In my neighborhood, it was an attractive thing to be a tough boy. You were feared by everybody in the neighborhood. It got to a point that my mum became worried about my bad reputation.  But when I got to Ahmadiyah, I saw tougher boys who could eat me raw and yet they paid attention to their studies. I think that was what mellowed me. I was so mellowed that you couldn't find me in any crisis situation anymore. I couldn't even believe in the turnaround myself.  By the time I finished Form-4, I had seen the futility of living that kind of life. Then, I fully embraced education as a means to an end.

What circumstance brought you together with your wife?

Everything about me was funny and strange. I met my wife when I was still in secondary school. I met her at a function where a friend of mine was celebrating her birthday at Isale-Eko. She came in after we had seated and I saw her and said wow, beautiful girl! This time, I had just cut off a relationship that ended in an unpleasant way. I would say she dumped me. So, I was still struggling to get out of that unpleasant situation when I saw my wife. It was my relationship with her that I used to re-bounce from that episode. Luckily, it turned out to be a life-saving, fruitful and successful relationship till date.

You mean she didn't put up any resistance when you made advances to her?

She gave me a wrong name and wrong address. But unfortunately for her, one of my friends, Muri Okunola, was there, but kept quiet. After she had left, I asked him if he knew her. He told me that they went to the same primary school. So, he gave me her real name and her correct address. At about 8 o'clock in the night, we were in her house. She was shocked when she saw me. From there, we became friends. Subsequently, I would go there to keep her company. One thing led to the other. As they say, the rest is history.

It means you had a long courtship having started the relationship at secondary school level.

(Cuts in). We consummated the relationship when she got pregnant just as we finished our secondary school. After we had our first child, we decided that the relationship must be kept forever. Then, my mother and head of our family went to meet her parents and they accepted us.

How was the anxiety of having a child at that tender age?

It was late for my mum to have us when she married our father. She had one from the previous marriage. But when she married my dad, for ten years, she didn't have any child. Then, she had two of us. My wife's mother also had two of them. I think the two parents too were also anxious to see their grandchildren. More so, at that time, I was planning to travel out of the country. So, my mum wanted something that would bring me back because there were cases of people who travelled out but didn't come back. In fact, she discouraged me from going overseas.  She was afraid of losing us. So, when she saw me in a very strong and intimate relationship, she encouraged me to consummate everything before leaving. Luckily, the issue of pregnancy came in. In fact, when she heard of it, she consistently warned us not to abort it. She quickly went to tell my mother-in-law. Unfortunately, we lost the child when she was one year old. Before then, I had made her pregnant. So, just few months we lost her, we had another boy, Ibrahim, who contested the last local government election.

In quick summary, what was the lesson you learnt from your dad and how did you bring that to bear in upbringing of your children?

My father had a tremendous impact in my life. But he didn't live long. I knew him to be an extremely hard-working, religious and generous man. He never drank. Today, I can equally beat my chest that I never drank in my life. That, I inherited from my father. Because I never saw him drink one day, I made it a rule that I would never drink alcohol.  I can also say that I was never a smoker. May be, I smoked three or four times. I had an uncle who was addicted to St Morris. In those days, St Morris was very beautiful in terms of package and smell. Sometimes, he would leave the packet of cigarette on the table and I would just pick one and go to the bathroom to smoke it. But for some reasons, my system couldn't cope. Each time I inhaled the smoke, I always had headache. So, I just felt that my body system would not work with smoking. In those days when we used to go to club, anytime I sat around where people smoked, I developed headache. Since then, I knew my system would not cope with smoking. I can also tell you that none of my children is a smoker. Jide does not smoke. Gbolahan too doesn't smoke but he drinks and we fight every day because of that. I insist that I don't want him to do that. Now, he has moderated it and I pray he would get out of it with time. All my girls don't smoke or drink. I think I have also impacted that on them. And they are very serious with what they do just like me. They will be the first to tell you that I am their mentor.

What impact did your mum make in your life?

My mother made more impact on my life than my dad because we lost our dad very early and it was my mum that became everything. She is 91 years old and hails from Abeokuta. She is an Egba woman. She is very religious and generous, but not as generous as my dad. My dad was extremely generous. He gave out money as he made it.  I can say that I am a blend of the two.

What would you say has sustained your marriage?    

Love, commitment and her general attitude towards life. My wife is a disciplinarian. In fact, she disciplines the children more than I do. She is very religious. I am supposed to be the spiritual leader but she is the spiritual leader in the house. She is a very compassionate and very understanding woman. Thank God for what we are today but we didn't start like this. We were very poor when we started. We have had a situation where we didn't have a dime in our bank account and she provided the necessary support. When you are down, that is when you are most vulnerable to all sorts. But she is forever there to lend her back for me to ride on. I cherish her for that because when you have a partner that you can count on at all times, I think it goes a long way in strengthening you. For that, I will be eternally grateful to her and thankful to Almighty Allah for giving her to me as a partner.

Women flock around successful people. Have you ever been caught in the act?

Let me put it mildly, I had my share of it. But I thank God that I still have my home intact. That is one of the reasons that I would continue to appreciate my wife throughout my life. At a point, those temptations were there. The kind of support she gave assisted in overcoming that. The way a relationship is managed determines whether it will survive.

Via: Sun News Online