Jesus, Satan Appear on CNN in Historic Two-Minute Segment

[ayodele]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In what many are calling a milestone in cable news history, Jesus and Satan appeared on CNN today in a brief two-minute segment.

The segment, a debate over Good versus Evil moderated by CNN host Brooke Baldwin, was believed to be the first joint appearance ever by Jesus and his arch-nemesis on a cable news program.

"We were first approached by Jesus' people who said He would be interested in coming on," Ms. Baldwin said.  "But then we thought it would be important to put Satan on with Him, for balance."

The two luminaries did not appear in the CNN studio, but were instead shown on a split-screen as they made their appearances from Heaven and Hell.

During the segment Satan interrupted and shouted over Jesus several times, despite Ms. Baldwin urging him to let Jesus speak.

"I'm trying to turn the other cheek, Brooke, but really," a visibly frustrated Jesus said at one point.

The debate over Good and Evil was brought to abrupt close at the two-minute mark, at which point Ms. Baldwin said, "Well, gentlemen, I'm afraid we'll have to leave it there."

Ms. Baldwin said that the network would be happy to have both Jesus and Satan on again to continue the conversation, and then she switched to CNN's continuing coverage of the Charlie Sheen situation.

But any hopes for a return engagement of Jesus and Satan on CNN were dashed later in the day, when it was announced that Satan had signed an exclusive deal to become a contributor on Fox.

Source: Jesus, Satan Appear on CNN in Historic Two-Minute Segment