'Forget your CV': Being a woman in Nigeria

[CNN]

 (CNN)In her famed TEDx talk, Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie tells the story of the first time she was called a feminist, at age 14, by a male friend. "It was not a compliment. I could tell from his tone. The same tone you would use to say something like: you're a supporter of terrorism," she said, later adding:  

"Some people will say a woman is subordinate to men because it's our culture. But culture is constantly changing."

Adichie has used her pen and her platform to talk about the struggles of Nigeria's women and today, young Nigerians are doing the same... in 140 characters.

It all started when Florence Warmate's book club read Adichie's 'We Should All Be Feminists', the published version of her TEDx talk.

"We were discussing the book, started talking about our own experiences and thought we should take this to a larger audience." Eschewing their Whatsapp group, they decided to post a tweet using the hashtag #BeingfemaleinNigeria during their lunch break. Since then, the hashtag has been used 17,000 times. Many focused on instances of  intercourseism that Nigerian women experience on a daily basis:  

#beingfemaleinnigeria leaving Radisson Blu, on a Tuesday morning, i was held back asked to call who I came to visit before they let me go .

— Florence Warmate (@FlorenceWarmate) June 30, 2015

 

#BeingFemaleInNigeria "Your husband cooked? And you opened your mouth and ate the food? What kind of woman are you?"

— Bibiire o se f'owora (@yew1e) June 30, 2015

 

Several landlords rejected me because apparently it's not proper for a woman to live alone. #BeingfemaleinNigeria

— Spectra Speaks (@spectraspeaks) June 30, 2015

 

#beingfemaleinnigeria means your parents have two extremes- stay in school and WHERE IS YA HUSBAND?

— PrincessTosynBucknor (@TosynBucknor) June 30, 2015

Other tweets underscored the patriarchal nature of Nigerian society.

It's shocking when you are beautiful and smart. Apparently they are mutually exclusive. #BeingFemaleInNigeria

— MR President (@duchesskk) June 30, 2015

 

#BeingFemaleInNigeriaIf you get pregnant before marriage, you're useless.If you don't get pregnant after marriage, you're useless.

— Bunny (@_Alphawoman) June 30, 2015

 

#BeingFemaleInNigeria where moral teachings are targeted at women because you know boys will be boys.

— flawless milkkk (@_larike) June 30, 2015

 

#beingfemaleinnigeria is tipping the restaurant worker with YOUR money from YOUR bag but the worker thanking your male companion instead.

— u.u (@KhaleesiNU) June 30, 2015

 

Having to remind people that the Bible makes man 'head of the HOME' Not office, not classroom and def not Lagos roads. #BeingFemaleInNigeria

— Somi Ekhasomhi (@SomiEkhasomhi) June 30, 2015

 

Forget your CV and enter kitchen. #BeingFemaleInNigeria

— Chukwuebuka Akara (@ebuka_akara) June 30, 2015

Refreshingly, men have also taken to the hashtag.  

#BeingFemaleInNigeria basically means you have to do more to earn anything close to what a less committed male earns

— JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) June 30, 2015

 

The thing about the experiences of #beingfemaleinnigeria is that a man has to really try hard to understand. It is difficult to notice.

— Amara Nwankpa (@bubusn) June 30, 2015

 

The culture of not seeing females as equals results in men with fragile egos. Always at risk of being 'emasculated' #beingfemaleinNigeria

— Amara Nwankpa (@bubusn) June 30, 2015

 

#BeingFemaleInNigeria means that in some parts of the country you can be "married" off to a man at the age of 13 to be raped in perpetuity.

— Elnathan John (@elnathan) June 30, 2015

The hashtag came under some early criticism for focusing too heavily on negative experiences, but Warmate and her fellow book club members are adamant that campaign is about raising awareness, not perpetuating negative stereotypes.

"We realized even among our friends and male counterparts that they were not aware of our struggle. This is why we just thought to put it out there," says Warmate.

But what can a hashtag do to change views and values that are centuries-old? Not much, admits Warmate.

"It is culturally engrained," she acknowledges, though she adds that doesn't mean gender inequality in Nigeria shouldn't be called out.

"Society expects us to hide our success...men must respect our achievements," she says.

Culture may not change overnight but what is certain is that by the time the Abuja-based book club meets next month, there are likely to be a whole lot more members.

What are your experiences of being female in Nigeria or elsewhere in Africa? Tell us in the comment threads below or on Twitter at @CNNAfrica.



Source: CNN