Hilarious Joke - Dumb Blonde

[CNN]

 Editor's note: How are you celebrating the World Cup? Join the global conversation on CNN's Facebook Pulse

(CNN) -- FIFA has suspended Nigeria from international football citing government interference in the running of its national federation.

The emergency committee of the world governing body said the blanket ban would come into to place with "immediate effect" which means no Nigerian team, including club sides, can play in regional, continental or international competitions.

In the wake of Nigeria's exit to France at the last 16 of the World Cup, the high court of the West African country ruled that its federation would cease to run the national team, handing over the role to a government civil servant.

View my Flipboard Magazine.  This is in breach of a FIFA rules that obliges member associations to manage their own affairs "independently and with no influence from third parties," it said in a statement.

Stephen Keshi, the coach of the African champions, resigned the day after the 2-0 defeat, after leading the Super Eagles out of the group stages of the World Cup for the first time since 1998.

Read: FIFA queries Nigeria over 'lesbian' ban

FIFA warned the Nigerian authorities it would take action, but at the weekend an extraordinary general meeting of the federation took place in Abuja without former NFF (Nigerian Football Federation) chief Aminu Maigari and his congress having been restored to their positions.

Patrick Vieira: How to win a World Cup     Argentina heading to World Cup final  Maigari was also arrested on his return from South America, but was later released.

"The suspension will be lifted once the court actions have been withdrawn and the properly elected NFF Executive Committee, the NFF general assembly and the NFF administration are able to work without any interference in their affairs," FIFA added.

Read: Third African title for Super Eagles

The first team to suffer from the ban will be the Nigerian team which is due to take part in FIFA under-20 Women's World Cup next month.

Nigeria's men's national team is also scheduled to begins its defense of the African Cup of Nations title when qualifying matches start in September.

In addition to the exclusion from competitions, the NFF will also fall outside of any training or development programs run by FIFA.

It is not the first time it has fallen foul of the strict FIFA rules on government interference.

Nigeria was temporarily banned from the 2010 World Cup in South Africa after interventions by the country's president Goodluck Jonathan.

Fellow African World Cup qualifier Cameroon was also hit by a temporary suspension in July 2013 for falling foul of the same rule.

Read: Argentina tops group from Nigeria


Source: CNN

[Jobrib]

Job Title: Senior Planners

Company: Alcon Nigeria Limited

Location: Nigeria

Job Type: Full Time

Min Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Job Field: Engineering

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Alcon Nigeria Limited is a registered EPC contractor that has been operating in Nigeria for over 30 years with Operational headquarters in Port Harcourt and Project locations across Rivers, Bayelsa, Akwa-Ibom and Delta States including Bonny Island. As a fast-growing indigenous Company willing to promote the Nigerian Content.

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Job Summary:

The Senior Planner shall establish and effectively manage all project control measures relevant to completing projects on schedule. Responsible for providing project planning and scheduling services during the development and execution phases of projects.

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Major Responsibilities: – Develops project schedule according to commercial needs. – Issues planning and scheduling procedures, project measurement procedures for verification by Project Manager and efficiently communicate them to the project team members as required. – During early phase of the project, shall support the Project Management Team in developing the execution plan for the scope of work – Resolves logic and schedule related conflicts through close interaction with project stakeholders – Instrumental in defining and scheduling key contractual milestones for inclusion into contract documents – Verifies the capacity to execute the contractual scope of work by analyzing resources (human and material) requirements – Ensures equipment, materials, and engineering are capable and committed to meeting the contractual schedule dates – Provides status updates to schedules, verifies accuracy of work completed and analyzes progress, schedule performance and variances from the plan and final time-impact. – Obtains and/or recommends corrective actions for mitigating deviations from the plan – Works closely with the entire Project Management Team, especially the Cost Control group to identify and resolve schedule deviations and, trends – Prepares and maintains quantity metrics – Interfaces and coordinate with other discipline leaders/ supervisors and managers to build up activities, assign milestones and constraints by issuing the logic network – Establishes and controls effectively planning and progress control system to assist the project manager in decision-making.

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Qualification and Personal Attributed: – The ideal candidate must possess at least a bachelors degree in any Engineering discipline and must have at least 15 years experience in hands-on construction and at least 10 years experience in Project Planning and Control in Oil and Gas industry. – Must be a certified Project Management Professional – Must be competent in the use of primavera P6 software as well as other project management Soft wares. – Must be able to communicate effectively with project team members – Must be able to interface with other departmental and unit heads in order to gather information for easy project management and control. – Must be ready to work long hours and work well under pressure to meet deadlines.

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[Jobrib]

Job Title: Coordinator/Liaison Officer

Company: KPMG

Job Type: Full Time

Min Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: Legal

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KPMG is one of the leading providers of professional services, KPMG knows that the success and growth of the firm also depends on the success and growth of the Nigerian economy. Hence, it champions progressive change and makes the future happen for its clients, people and the community, thereby enabling Nigeria's success. The firm is involved in the formulation of economic policies for Nigeria through the Nigerian Economic Summit Group.

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The firm has a full complement of 29 partners and over 800 trained and dedicated professional staff; with deep industry skills and competencies in audit, tax and advisory services.

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KPMG has worked for clients in the public and private sector in Nigeria and in several other countries, helping to transform business performance and operations.

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Purpose: – To facilitate attainment of the objectives of the KPMG member firms in West Africa, through effective coordination of their activities and nurturing of their relationships.

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Responsibilities: – Coordinates and supports both sub regional and country level processes, aimed at fostering stronger interactions and harmonious working relationships. – Serves as the company secretary, organizing, attending and taking minutes of meetings. – The job also requires preparation of resolutions and liaison, through the holding company's legal adviser, with the Cayman Islands' firm (Carey Olsen), handling KWAH's legal and corporate affairs offshore. – Serves as the secretariat and the point of contact for all KPMG West Africa member firms and liaises with lead Partners in the sub-region on logistics and general support for common and joint activities/programme. – Communicates decisions of the Board to relevant line and function leaders in the member firms, sending reminders and following up on implementation.

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Qualifications and Experience: – Minimum of three (3) years in corporate

management and international relations – A good first degree in Law, not below second class upper-both at LLB and Law School. – A post-graduate degree (e.g. MBA) and Chartered Secretary qualification will be added a advantages. – Preferably between 25-32 years of age – Experience in administrative responsibilities. – Good oral and written communication. – Good strategic mind-set (ability to think outside the box) – Sound legal and regulatory knowledge – Good project management skills – Good analytical skills. – Good people management skills. – Proficiency in the use of Microsoft tools.

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[Jobrib]

Job Title: Network Administrator

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Recruiter: Impact Enterprise International

Job Summary:

.Establishes network specifications by conferring with users; analyzing workflow, access, information, and security requirements; designing router administration, including interface configuration and routing protocols..Establishes network by evaluating network performance issues including availability, utilization, throughput, goodput, and latency; planning and executing the selection, installation, configuration, and testing of equipment; defining network policies and procedures; establishing connections and firewalls. *.Maintains network performance by performing network monitoring and analysis, and performance tuning; troubleshooting network problems; escalating problems to vendor. *.Secures network by developing network access, monitoring, control, and evaluation; maintaining documentation. *.Prepares users by designing and conducting training programs; providing references and support.

Qualifications and Requirements: *.A minimum of Degree in a relevant field *.Must be computer literate *.Must be very organized and diligent *.Should possess good communication skills

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[Jobrib]

Job Title: Principal

Company: Federal College of Education, Osiele Model Secondary  

Job Type: Full Time

Min Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Location: Ogun, Nigeria

Job Field: Administration Education

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Established in 2002, the Federal College of Education, Osiele Model Secondary is a private Secondary school located in the outskirt of Abeolcuta. It is a fast growing co-educational institution with boarding facilities.

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Applicants are invited from suitably qualified candidates for the vacant position of Principal Federal College of Education, Osiele, Abeokuta Model Secondary School

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Job Description: – The position of principal is meant for a dynamic, industrious and ambitious individual with proven evidence of good leadership qualities to move the secondary school to a higher stratum and help its growth and development. The school will demand plenty of drive resourcefulness and dedication from the Principal. – The principal will be responsible to the model School management Board for the day-to-day general administration and supervision of the School.  – He/She will be responsible for the future directions and desired success of the collaborative educational and administrative leadership for the management and prompt implementation of curriculum, policies and decisions put in place by the management board of the School. – The successful candidate must be sound in mind and possess high degree of personal drive as well as founded education for the up-bringing of students of wide range of culture and economic background.

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In addition, he/she should have: – High level of communication and interpersonal skills in addition to computer Literacy – Ability to plan and assume responsibility for financial management including accurate planning and budgeting. – Ability to keep all school records that may be required by regulations – A high level of personal and professional skill in dealing with students, parents, teaching and non-teaching staff and general public. – Ability to plan system and manage human and materials resources effectively – Strong ability to be pro-active, coordinate, prioritise and organise in. the institution – Ability to create and maintain extensive network of contacts within and outside the Nigeria Education System.

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Qualification and Experience: – The candidate should have a good honours degree in Education. Masters in Education will be an added advantage. – He/She must be a certified Teacher (Registered by TRCN) – He/She should have a minimum of 14 years of post qualification teaching experience and at least 7 years of working experience as a Vice Principal or Principal.

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[Jobrib]

Job Title: Senior Completion Engineer

Company: AndersElite Corporation

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND MBA/MSc/MA

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: Oil and Gas /Energy

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AndersElite is part of CDI Corp with annual revenues in excess of $1billion and 50 years in the industry serving the UK for 30 years. AndersElite has regional offices across the UK and Australia. Anderselite provide staffing and recruitment services to qualified professionals working in the Built Environment, IT and Aerospace industries. Our services are delivered through three core solutions: Recruitment, Talent Management and Contract Management. We tailor our services to each client meeting their complex work force needs enhancing their competitive edge in today's ever changing market place.

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AndersElite provides permanent, contract, RPO, MSP and retained services for professionals and clients who work in the built environment and associated industries: Architecture, Aerospace, Building services, Construction, Consulting Engineering, Facilities management, Health and Safety, Housing, Power & Process, Rail Services, Social housing, Surveying, IT and Town planning.

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CDI Corp are looking for a number of consultants for the Drilling & Completions departments for an Operator in Nigeria.

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Please see below for the overview.

Well Design and Supervision of Completion/Workover Programs

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Job Spec:

BS degree in Engineering (minimum) Member, Society of Petroleum Engineers. Member IADC. Attended industry courses in well engineering, well operations management, project management.

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KEY COMPETENCES REQUIREMENTS: – Good technical knowledge of well operations. – Initiative to proffer solutions to technical problems. – Sound knowledge of IADC/API guidelines for well operations.  – Knowledge and understanding of relevant regulations applicable to testing and completion operations. – Supervise subordinates, rig operations, service companies; make presentations and facilitate meetings. – Good interpersonal skills, communications and organizational skills are essential. 10 years experience.

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Please contact Priya Sirpal if you are interested, this role is being resourced and CV's will be sumitted immediately.

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[Jobrib]

Job Title: Analyst – Loyalty Rewards Program

Company: Wakanow.com

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: ICT Sales / Marketing

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Wakanow.com is Nigeria's leading online travel company that provides customers with everything they need to research, plan and purchase a trip locally and globally.

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Wakanow.com offers travelers the cheapest available fares for flights, hotel reservations, airport pickups, visa assistance, vacation packages and many other travel services from a broad selection of partners.

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The Analyst's role is to provide back-end CRM analytics support for Wakanow's  loyalty rewards program. This includes building a robust customer database, analyzing customer churn, and settingmarketing targets for customer retention lift to inform loyalty point system.

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Responsibilities:

Building Customer Database: – Identify gaps in existing customer information system. – Propose and implement creative solutions for organizing customer data.

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CRM Analytics: – Shed light on baseline customer churn. – Set marketing targets to improve customer loyalty. – Devise points system.

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Desired Skills and Experience:

Formal Education & Certification: – Bachelors degree in Marketing – Technically literate, basic knowledge of computer science & SQL a plus.

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Knowledge & Experience: – 3 years experience in online marketing, finance background a plus – Familiarity/experience with CRM and loyalty programs – Superb proficiency in Excel – Conversant with basic programming principles

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Personal Attributes: – Creative – Self-starter; good judgment with demonstrated leadership skills. – Strong interpersonal, written, and oral communication skills. – Ability to prioritize and execute in a fast paced setting. – Proven analytical and problem-solving abilities with attention to detail. – Experience working in a team-oriented, collaborative environment.

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Work Conditions: – On-call availability. – Sitting for extended periods of time. – Occasional work after-hours.

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[FIFA]

[/t]

BRASILIA, BRAZIL - JUNE 30:  Paul Pogba of France scores his team's first goal on a header during the 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Round of 16 match between France and Nigeria at Estadio Nacional on June 30, 2014 in Brasilia, Brazil.  (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

[Jobrib]

Job Title: Director – SAP Government Relations

Company: SAP

Location: Nigeria

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Job Field: Administration

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SAP is the global market leader for business software and thus contributes a considerable part of the world's economic power grid. At SAP you get your chance to put your ideas into action with maximum impact.

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RESPONSIBILITIES: – Lead GR program development and strategy in alignment with MU – Prepare and execute annual GR plans for Nigeria – Build trusted relationships with key political decision-makers in the Nigeria – Educate political decision-makers and influencers about SAP, enhance brand recognition and position SAP as a good corporate citizen in the Nigeria – Advice local management on political risks and opportunities – Build a political contact network in the Nigeria for SAP executives; provide training of local management on political issues – Represent SAP in industry trade associations and political platforms – Steer external lobbyists and GR agencies

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EXPECTATIONS AND TASKS: – Address Public Policy Risks – Monitor/analyze public policy initiatives that could hamper SAP's operations in Nigeria; focus issues: cloud computing, data protection, cyber security, taxation of the digital economy – Develop lobbying strategies to mitigate those public policy risks – Prepare SAP positions on public policy issues and communicate them to political decision makers and influencers – Build alliances with like-minded companies and stakeholders in support of SAP positions Provide business support – Work with local management and sales team on business development strategy for key ministries and agencies in Nigeria – Provide strategic advice to the business on how to position SAP solutions and enhance SAP value propositions to the government – Position SAP in the political pre-tendering phase of public procurement – Monitor/analyze government policies and programs that could create business opportunities for SAP – Conduct mapping of key decision-makers and influencers in public procurement and develop strategies on how to develop relations with them – Develop SAP briefings and messages to position SAP – Positon SAP positions by using suitable channels (1:1 meetings, public events, via academic institutes, think tanks, trade associations, etc.) Drive thought leadership and SAP brand recognition – Develop overall strategy and campaign on how to raise awareness of SAP among policy makers – Develop a thought GR leadership strategy for SAP in Nigeria; ie. how SAP can help to address societal and economic challenges in Nigeria – Educate the government about SAP investments and operations in Nigeria – Represent SAP at relevant political events and conferences – Organize SAP events with political decision-makers – Leverage existing global SAP programs (CSR, University Alliance, etc.)

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WORK EXPERIENCE:

The successful candidate should have at least 10 years of experience as a government relations executive in the industry. Previous experiences and qualifications should include: – Experiences and relationship building skills with political decision-makers and influencers  – Good knowledge of the IT industry and ability to quickly grasp technology issues – Thorough understanding of public procurement processes – Experience in appropriately advising senior-level corporate executives – Understanding of international political issues and how a company can successfully face global challenges – Experience in operating in a global public company environment, with the ability to effectively manage public scrutiny, crisis communications and media attention

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EDUCATION AND QUALIFICATION/SKILLS AND COMPETENCIES: – Strong communication skills – Good analytical thinking – A keen sense of protocol and common practices in engagement with governments – Clear reputation of ethical conduct – Acute political sensitivity – Reputation of being hands-on, hard working and energetic – Capability to be pro-active, able to develop new ideas and to offer opinions and judgments – Ability to build relationships across the political spectrum – Ability to work in global teams – An undergraduate degree is required. An advanced or Master Degree is highly desirable.

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[Jobrib]

Job Title: Site Supervisor

Company: Ericsson

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: OND BA/BSc/HND

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: Engineering

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Ericsson is the world's leading provider of technology and services to telecom operators. Ericsson is advancing its vision of being the "prime driver in an all-communicating world" through innovation, technology, and sustainable business solutions.

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We now stand on the brink of fundamental innovation opportunities across industries, public services and in private life. We are moving from the information society to the Networked Society, where the primary concern is not having access to information, but what benefit you get out of it.

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Job Summary:

The Site Supervisor, depending on assigned Portfolio Competence, carries out "Installation Investigation & Engineering", "Civil Works Investigation & Engineer", "Line of Sight Investigation for Microwave Short Haul" and/or "Drive Test"

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Responsibilities & Tasks: – Preparation, planning and mobilization to Sites Supervision of ASP's work on site. – Support ASP upon technical questions, in cases of material shortages or faulty equipment. – Carry along a limited selection of Spare parts and common used material (e.g. Connectors Jumpers/Cable ties/nut & bolts). – Perform ATP with Customer. – Report and Close Activity – 100% time in the field inspecting site installations and supervising subcontractors

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Core Competences: – Well knowledgeable in Microsoft Office suite of program – Delivering Results & Meeting Customer Expectations Planning & Organizing – Oral and written communication skills

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Minimum Qualifications & Experience Requirements: – 3-5 years' experience as a Site Supervisor e.g. typical experience working as a Site Engineer, Installer, Civil Works construction, Civil Work design, Turn-key rollout incl. Site Acquisition etc. – Previous experience as an installer, tester Integrator or rigger, but must have valid Climbing Certificate. – BEng/BSC/HND/OND or its equivalent degree in any of the Engineering or related Fields – Added Advantage – Previous experience working as a Construction worker in the Construction Industry – Added advantage – experience in trouble shooting TX/alarms/integrations and Transmission.

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