It’s reaction that destroys marriage…-Bisi Adewale

[MrVan]

PASTOR Bisi Adewale, an accountant, was called on campus to go and balance family lives and not accounts. Today, together with a chartered accountant wife, they have written a series of books on marriage and family life and have established a school called College of Marital Success, where they teach people on what, he described, as total home concept.

They organize a yearly outreach called Lagos Couples Conference, where couples and intending couples are exposed to an Intimate Talking Time, ITT, and trained on several Godly concepts of marriage. In a recent interview with SAM EYOBOKA, the family minister said a Breakthrough Sngles Summit is scheduled for the Gymnasium Hall of the National Stadium, Surulere, Lagos on September 30. Excerpts....

What will you say is responsible for marital problems in the society today?

Lack of preparation, selfishness and greed! Most people get married not because they want to serve and when anybody gets married not wanting to serve, they will always make a mess of themsel-ves. Most people do not prepare for marriage; they only spend several months to prepare for wedding.

You will be so shocked to know that many would be couples and even those who are married, cannot define love. That is why you find several husbands loving their mothers much more than their wives and verse versa. Third party problem is responsible for marital issues.

Will you agree that the marriage institution is collapsing?

I won't say that it is coll-apsing. I will rather say that marriage, like every aspect of our society, is having chall-enges. A recent survey showed that countries where the rate of divor-ces is high they also have a very high rate of suicides. You can't compare the rate of divorce in the US to that of Nigeria.

What is responsible for this? They discovered that there is a way the family system help people to grow. Lack of know-ledge is responsible for marital problems; there is no school anywhere you can study marriage. In those days, people were taught civic resp-onsibility—nationhood, tax and how to be pa-triotic—but there was no teaching on marria-ge, what is the role of the man, the woman and the children.

For example, we have been talking about corrupt-ion. We cannot stop corruption until we first build the family because the society is an offshoot of the family. If the gov-ernment wants to do well they should focus on the family. We discover rec-ently that rate of divorce in the city is higher than in the town and that of the town is higher than that of the village and that is because our work schedule in the city is higher than in the towns and the villages.

For instance, in Lagos the man and the woman will wake up as early as 5.00 a.m. and would not return till about 11.00 p.m. and you ask your-self, how will a wife be able to attend to her husband and family un-der such circumstance? Same goes for the husb-and.

It very often makes the man and the woman to be strangers or at best co-tenants in their own home. The government may be trying, but I think the government, the Church and the society can do more to protect family life in Nigeria through the restructure of work schedules.

What do you mean by breakthrough for singl-es summit?

It's a programme that focuses on the generat-ion next—people that will emerge tomorrow as good family man and women. We are taking a global look at the chall-enges facing the world today and saying that despite the corruption, economic hardship, no roads, no electricity, no employment etc., there is still the wisdom of God that can help us to have a solid family life. We call it breakthrough for singles, because it is a time we teach on what they should do before they say; 'I do,' and how to make money rightly.

There will be seminars, music, comedy, beauty pageant, book bonanza, anointing for quick marr-iages and we will be giving recharge cards to people. We are expect-ing Erujeje, Praise Team (Prov. 9), Gyration for Christ and Living Voic-es. There are 21 things every single should do accepting to say: 'I do'.

Vanguard Nigeria

[Nifemi Donald]

True talk.it makes sense.all married men and women need to see this.very brilliant advice

[Folami David]

That is true..and it comes mostly from women