How To Order Internet Delivery During a Blizzard and Not Be a Dick [Etiquette]

[techieguy]

If you live in the blizzard-ridden United States, you might be looking out your window at a harsh, desolate, snowy wasteland. Cars in the middle of the street. Frosty despair. But you're also hungry. Here's how to order in, guilt-free.



The advent of online food delivery has ushered in an era of indulgent slothfulness for which I am always grateful. 10 pm. Chinese food? Click! No cash exchanged, no annoyed human voices dealt with—just you and the beneficent food-dispensing internet. Sometimes an occasional pang of guilty introspection—Is it pathetic that I just ordered a bagel and OJ instead of putting on pants and going across the street? But hey, the future is now.

The blizzard is also now. So it's important to reconsider, just a bit, the way you deal with the Internet Instant Food God. Namely, that it's powered by the service of human beings, who on snowy days in particular, deserve some extra consideration.

Above all, consider the fact that delivering food to you is going to really suck for the exact reason that you don't want to go out and get it yourself. Pants will become snowy and wet, bicycles will slide around on ice, and beards will be caked with vicious snow. But this will all happen to someone else! Someone bringing you food. Tipping reasonably is always the decent thing to do, but under conditions that might look like a scene from a science fiction movie, you've got to keep others in mind. This ain't business as usual.            

How To Order Internet Delivery During a Blizzard and Not Be a Dick [Etiquette]