Hilarious Joke - Dumb Blonde

[Jobrib]

Job Title: Litigation Counsel

Company: Stresert Services Limited

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Job Field: Legal

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Stresert Services Limited – One of the leading legal practitioners and arbitrators in the Nigerian legal sector is looking to hire a Senior Litigation Counsel immediately.

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Job Summary:

To contribute to the smooth and efficient conduct of litigation and outside counsel including coordinating and directing case strategy, discovery, drafting/editing pleadings and interviewing and preparing witnesses and negotiations.

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Description of Duties: – All administrative tasks required for the post. – Drafting applications to the Courts and having conduct of the case through to judgment being obtained. – Dealing with any matters concerning the enforcement of judgments. – Clarifying with client officers any difficult areas and dealing with and responding to any defences and/or counter claims lodged. – Drafting summonses, complaints and indictments in connection with prosecutions by the Council – Attending the Court and other Tribunals and advocating on behalf of the Council in litigation actions. – Providing litigation support to the solicitors in the Litigation Team, including without limitation, preparing witness statements, dealing with discovery and attending court with Counsel. – Deal with enquiries from solicitors and other external agencies and advice the client of the next step accordingly. – Negotiating and drafting Consent Orders, directions with the Defendants (or their representatives) and presenting such documentation before the Court as required. – Attending possession action hearings, negotiating with representatives and preparing and advising of witnesses prior to hearings. – Attending Defendants' applications to set aside Judgments and suspended Warrants of Possession. – Responsible for maintaining the central register of Judgments and Charging Orders and dealing with related enquiries, applications and cancellations. – Responsible for the preparation of documentation and conduct of emergency injunction proceedings on behalf of the Local Authority in accordance with any relevant legislation. – Any other duties relevant for the work of the Section as determined by the post holder's line manager.

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Desired Skills: – Candidate must be a graduate of Law with minimum of 8 – 10 years at the Bar – Active litigation Arbitration experience – Ability to work well under pressure and meet deadlines. – Ability to write, and speak English fluently – The ideal candidate must be organized and pay attention to detail. Small errors or omissions can lose or derail a case. – Excellent writing skills with little or no review needed. – The candidate needs to be able to work with a variety of people and have coping skills to handle difficult personalities, ranging from co workers to clients. – The litigation applicant must have knowledge of the court systems and how they work. – Experience working in drafting motions, briefs and preparing for trials is necessary.

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[Time]

The wreck of a plane that was carrying 116 people from Burkina Faso to Algiers was found Thursday in Mali, according to officials.

The Air Algerie commercial plane lost contact with controllers early Thursday, just an hour after it took off, as it headed into a rainstorm. The wreckage was found near the border of Burkina Faso, a presidential aide for Burkina Faso told the Associated Press.

"They found human remains and the wreckage of the plane totally burnt and scattered," he said.

Nearly half of the people on the flight were French. The passengers aboard included 51 French, 27 Burkina Faso nationals, eight Lebanese, six Algerians, five Canadians, four Germans, two Luxembourg nationals, one Swiss, one Belgian, one Egyptian, one Ukrainian, one Nigerian, one Cameroonian and one Malian, officials said. "If this catastrophe is confirmed, it would be a major tragedy that hits our entire nation, and many others," French Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius told reporters. French officials do not believe that extremists in Mali have the weaponry necessary to have shot down the plane at cruising altitude.

This is the latest in several major flight disasters in the last week: a Malaysian Airlines flight was shot down last Thursday while flying over a tumultuous section of Ukraine, and a Taiwanese jet crashed during a storm Wednesday killing 48 people. Travelers have become increasingly nervous about flying as U.S. and European airlines have been selectively canceling flights to Israel after a rocket landed near the airport in Tel Aviv. Meanwhile, a Malaysian airline flight carrying 239 people that disappeared in March has yet to be found.

[AP]

[FIFA]

Carlo Ancelotti has revealed Cristiano Ronaldo is training on his own and insisted Real Madrid will be cautious with his return to action, and reflected on their loss to Roma in the USA.


@FIFA.com News

[joker]

Technically, there are 7 TYPES OF LADIES:

1. HARD DISK lady: Remembers everything forever.

2. RAM lady: Forgets about you the moment you turn off.

3. SCREENSAVER lady: Just for looking.

4. INTERNET lady: Difficult to access.

5. SERVER lady: Always busy when needed

6. MULTIMEDIA lady: Looks beautiful but you can only look.

7. VIRUS lady: This type of lady is normally called 'WIFE', once enters your system, never leaves even if the system is formatted.

You can give other types in the comment box below..

[FIFA]

[/t]

MONCTON,NB - AUGUST 20:  Asisat Oshoala of Nigeria celebrates a goal during the FIFA U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 Semi Final match between Korea DPR and Nigeria at Moncton Stadium on August 20, 2014 in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada.  (Photo by Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)

[Jobrib]

Job Title: Well Intervention Engineer

Company: Edwin Drake Oil & Gas

Location: Nigeria

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Job Field: Engineering Oil and Gas/Energy

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We are currently representing a fast developing E&P organisation with offices in multiple cities in Nigeria, including Lagos and Warri. On the back of recent successes in their assets, they are now seeking to increase their team by identifying a number of professionals who can add expertise in Well Intervention.

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JOB DESCRIPTION: – This is a permanent opportunity which will see you working from the operations base, in Niger Delta. – You will be in charge of putting together the programme and the technical design of the well interventions, as well as managing all aspects of wireline work, continuously providing input on operational performance.

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Required experience: – Nigerian professional, in line with the Nigerian Local Content with more than 5 years of experience spent working in the Oil and Gas Industry, with a Service Company as a Field Engineer/ Field Supervisor – Additionally, you will ideally have a minimum of 12 months with an E&P during which you have worked as a Well Intervention Engineer – In-depth knowledge and experience in the areas of: wireline activities( including surveillance, zone change, etc.), Well Test, Coil Tubing, Pumping Activities, Well Surveillance, etc. – Previous experience running Wireline Operations as a Field Engineer, as well as exposure to supervising teams across Well Intervention. – Excellent interpersonal and leadership skills.

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[FIFA]

[/t]

MONTREAL, QC - AUGUST 24:  Team captain Lina Magull lifts the World Cup trophy and celebrates with team mates after winning the FIFA U-20 Women's World Cup Canada 2014 final match between Nigeria and Germany at Olympic Stadium on August 24, 2014 in Montreal, Canada.  (Photo by Alex Grimm - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)

[Jobrib]

Job Title: Lecturer I

Company: The Federal University, Oye-Ekiti

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: MBA/MSc/MA PhD/Fellowship

Location: Ekiti, Nigeria

Job Field: Education

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The Federal University, Oye-Ekiti aspires to become an institution of first choice recognized for providing critical opportunities for student success; acknowledged as a primary and engaged regional and global resource for entrepreneurial educational and best practices in mining and farming technology; and valued as a university where there are faculty, students, and professional staff who are active in integrating cutting-edge technology in multidisciplinary and disciplinary research.

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Qualifications:

a.) A minimum of Ph.D. in the relevant fields.

b.) Must have at least ten (4) years of teaching and research experience in the University system or any comparable research institution.

c.) Must show academic experience through publication in recognized local and international journals.

d.) Must show academic leadership through postgraduate supervision and be able to attract research grant from both local and international funding agencies.

e.) Must be ready to lead various research groups within the department and the University as a whole.

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Other Information:

i.) Applicants are advised to convert all their documents to PDF

ii.) Save their documents with their respective names e.g. Adebayo Ojo Application, Adebayo Ojo B.Sc etc.

iii.) Applicants are also advised to arrange all their certificates in one document and submit a single pdf file.

iv.) Applicants are to provide valid e-mail address and phone number of their referees.

Apply to this job

[Jobrib]

Job Title: Lecturer I

Company: The Federal University, Oye-Ekiti

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: MBA/MSc/MA PhD/Fellowship

Location: Ekiti, Nigeria

Job Field: Education

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The Federal University, Oye-Ekiti aspires to become an institution of first choice recognized for providing critical opportunities for student success; acknowledged as a primary and engaged regional and global resource for entrepreneurial educational and best practices in mining and farming technology; and valued as a university where there are faculty, students, and professional staff who are active in integrating cutting-edge technology in multidisciplinary and disciplinary research.

.

Qualifications:

a.) A minimum of Ph.D. in the relevant fields.

b.) Must have at least ten (4) years of teaching and research experience in the University system or any comparable research institution.

c.) Must show academic experience through publication in recognized local and international journals.

d.) Must show academic leadership through postgraduate supervision and be able to attract research grant from both local and international funding agencies.

e.) Must be ready to lead various research groups within the department and the University as a whole.

.

Other Information:

i.) Applicants are advised to convert all their documents to PDF

ii.) Save their documents with their respective names e.g. Adebayo Ojo Application, Adebayo Ojo B.Sc etc.

iii.) Applicants are also advised to arrange all their certificates in one document and submit a single pdf file.

iv.) Applicants are to provide valid e-mail address and phone number of their referees.

Apply to this job

[Jobrib]

Job Title: Wholesale Executive

Company: Multinational Textile Company

Location: Nigeria

Job Type: Full Time

Qualification: BA/BSc/HND

Job Field: Sales/Marketing

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Our client is a multinational textile company, specialising in the production of high fabric across West and Central Africa. The company is recognised and respected for its unique design, colours and wax effects combined to creating an inspiring fashion statement.

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Job Summary:

The job of the Wholesale Executive entails working outside the office environment sourcing potential customers and maintaining current customers to maximise the revenue of the company in the short & long run.  Plan and execute Sales activities towards achieving the agreed business plan. Manage brand and customer portfolio in a sales territory according to agreed country business plan and functional strategies for all company's brands.

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Duties:

Sales:

• Customer prospecting and recruitment

• Maintenance and growth of existing customers

• Achieve sales targets of own territory per brand and product group

• Prepare prescribed reports and statistical data

• Channel landscape development, ownership and maintenance.

• Deliver Cost-Volume-Profit(CVP) per customer channel, segment and individual accounts.

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Account Planning:

• Identify growth opportunities per brand and product group, in line with consumer and channel trends

• Provide input into country key account plan to seize opportunities

• Segment and maintain customer base according to channel segmentation model for the sales territory

• Develop call plans according to channel segmentation model (call frequencies per account)

• Provide input into customized CVP per customer channel, segment and individual accounts

• Plan account call activities and customize within the prescribed CVP model per customer channel per account

• Plan & agree key account plan, customized to sales territory dynamics (brand, product group and channel mix), for the sales territory with Wholesale Manager

• Agree sales territory resources (budget, and standard POSM) with Wholesale Manager and review on quarterly basis

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Account Execution:

• Deliver the CVP per customer account, according to call plans and account activity plans

• Execute the key account plan for the sales territory, within the budget and resources provided

• Offering marketing support by managing and distributing standard POSM and trade marketing materials including logistics and distribution within sales territory budget.

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Communication:

• Keep customers updated about company's strategies, brand & channel initiatives and explain implications with their CVP matrix

• Communicate opportunities about local market trends and report successful programs/activations to Wholesales

• Strong planning and management skills.

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Requirements:

• Graduate with 1-3 years minimum commercial expertise gained across Sales/ B2B (Trade) Marketing or Sales Management.

• Good people management skills.

• Good track record in sales and marketing.

• Presentation, negotiation and influential skills

• Good communication skills –written and verbal

• Good skills in Microsoft office package

• Have a strong knowledge in the industry

• Be able to work with financial reports and statistics

• Fluency in English language and the local dialect

• Strong planning and management skills.

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